More often than not, the unseen victims of domestic violence are children. Growing up in a violent home is a traumatic and terrifying experience for children. Researchers estimate that between 3.3 million and 10 million children are exposed to domestic violence each year. Between 50 percent and 75 percent of children living in homes where there is domestic violence are physically or sexually abused and/or neglected. All of these children are considered emotionally abused. Studies indicate that children who are exposed to domestic violence are more likely to exhibit behavioral and physical health problems such as depression, anxiety, and violence toward peers. They are also more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home, engage in teenage prostitution, and commit sexual assault crimes. Men who witnessed domestic violence as children are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children. Women who are abused as children are more likely to become victims of abuse as adults.
Most current domestic violence services reach only a small percentage of exposed children.
The children served by Sojourn have lived so long with traumatic stress that, if not treated, they may suffer from inadequate development of the neural pathways which form the foundation for new learning, reasoning, and creativity. It is the mission of the Sojourn Children’s Program to provide a safe and therapeutic environment for child residents of the shelters and child clients served through outreach. The goal is to provide these children with the vivid and practical experience of non-violent, non-coercive, highly respectful relationships, with a clear and unwavering emphasis on prioritizing the empowerment of the children. It also is the goal to share the structural awareness of Sojourn’s methods with the mothers of the children and offer them access to this philosophy (parenting for independence rather than compliance) as an amendment to their family’s resources in their permanent relationship structure.
From the very first intake session with a victim of domestic violence and her children, Sojourn runs two parallel tracks; one pinpoints the needs of the mothers and the other of the children. Our staff members understand that these children hold a very complex pain and feel a great deal of ambivalence. They are treated with respect and given a safe and nurturing place to unload their pain. Sojourn has children’s therapists working together with staff and volunteers to empower the children. This team works with schools, advocates with the Department of Children and Family Services when needed, follows up with medical needs, provides school-appropriate clothing and supplies, refers to and works with outside therapists when indicated, and works with regional centers when additional services are required.
The children are engaged in empowerment play groups and clinical therapy which helps them process their feelings in safe and healthy ways. Age appropriate techniques result in improved non-violent conflict resolution and anger management skills. They open doors for the staff to help the children address their issues.
Clinicians use dolls, puppets, doll houses, cars, books, games, and other toys as a way for the child client to communicate feelings. Drawing pictures is another means of children’s communication. Both modalities allow the therapist to better understand the nature of the trauma and its ramifications, allowing more opportunity for the child to "work through" difficult material directly resulting from traumatic experiences.
Through this total program, children express themselves, increase their self-esteem, and learn to cope with overwhelming circumstances.